So I just purchased my ticket back to the city. For some reason I am extremely nervous about going back. Maybe it's because I'm not financially prepared to go. I really can't turn down this opportunity though. My internship is amazing. I couldn't be more excited that they wanted me to come back. And when it comes down to it, I really have nothing to lose. I'm young. I'm reckless. I'm not tied to anything (except paying my student loans back...ugh).

But money is still stressing me out. I really want stability in my life. I worked my ass off in college to ensure that I would have a full time job upon graduation. The whole economy thing is out of my hands. There is nothing I can do about it. But I just want to be making a decent income. I want to be able to live in my own apartment and to not have to worry about paying rent. I want to pay my bills and still have some money left over for going out. I hate that I have to continue to struggle like I did in college. I don't deserve this!

And I know I'm not the only one. I feel like a lot of people are in my situation. I know my hard work will pay off soon. I need to keep reminding myself of that. I need to tell myself that everything will be ok, because it will be. Things may suck, but I can get through them. I'm a soldier!

(side story: When I was in NYC last I went on a date with the lead creative director for Ed Hardy. It was GOD AWFUL. But I did tell him the rundown of my life and he called me a soldier. It was probably the only good thing about that date.)

Another thing that has been bothering me is the fact that I have to crash on my friend's couches for a few weeks. I have a really really hard time asking for help. It's one of my faults. I'm one of those do-everything-on-my-own types. It stresses me out though. But I must remind myself that these people are my friends and they want to help. They want to see my succeed.

I have a lot to be excited about though. Hello! It's New York City! When I left I was in the process of making new friends and contacts. I also met someone literally four days before I came home. We have a pretty interesting connection. Something that I can't turn away from. But more on that later :)

the good:
.JT...yes I am aware that the concert was on Saturday. But the party didn't stop until 4AM on Sunday!
.I parked in the meters at the SPG and did NOT get a ticket! I forgot my parking pass in my dad's car this weekend so I took the risk of parking in the meters mainly b/c the ticket I (should) have gotten would have only been $15 vs. $35 if I parked in the street or in the normal section of the lot. Wow was that a run on sentence or what?!?!?! :)
.a convo w/ a certian someone...
.my cute new starbucks cup
.chatting with old friends
.jamming to Mickey Avalon
.proenza
.FASHION WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhh I am sooo excited! I waited too long for this!!!

the bad:
.getting free twolves ticks and having to turn them down because I had too much HW. ....Then they won and broke the suns winning streak...GRRR! I should have been there! Well, atleast Katie got to go and I am sure she had a blast!
.starbucks running out of cider. Im probably the reason why they ran out...
.getting a hott cocoa instead...w/ whole milk..and choco sauce on top of the whip! I am sipping it right now and hoping..no PRAYING they don't take my oncall at work so I can hit the gym for some extended hours!! lol
.the amount of hw that I avoided this weekend and having to do it last night
.french test this week
.oncalls at Banana
.this ishy cold weather. I could really do w/o it

My french worries are really brining me down! I am TRES TRES TRES nervous about our test. Last semester I did well in french..this semester I feel like I am slipping. Again, praying to whomever above that I wont have to work tonight! I REALLY need to study!

In the end, there IS more good than bad. And I am really focusing on the good! No one likes a little miss. negative. I am looking forward to Teagan's party. Im going to miss him!

I really need to hit up the Walker and Weisman soon. Real soon. Maybe next Thursday if I don't have to work...hmm

Well anyway. I am trying to kill time here and it worked! Off to classola

i think i might start my own street style blog...
hmmmm

random from this summer..

i love how my friend gives him a drink at the end

from this summer..hahaha

please do not delete me off your friends list.

im super super busy w/ school and work.

im going on hiatus for a bit.

who couldnt ask for a better day?

a new teen vogue and marc by marc jacobs gifts?!

love it!

my new fav. quote: "Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a crack house for vitamins."

ATTN:

i need more friends on my friends list.

everyone rec. a friend(or two!) to add

for once the oscar went to a movie i actually saw lol!